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My journey to living in gratitude began in 2010. And let me say that up until that time, until I was age 45, I was a complainer, griper and a whiner, with absolutely no reason to complain! Luckily, I was saved from these very wasteful, counter-productive habits when I was given a blank journal one Thanksgiving season by a New Thought minister, who told us if we journaled 5 things we were grateful for 40 days, our life would change exponentially for the better. She did this two years in a row, I dutifully wrote my gratitude lists and oh my god, my life did change. It worked! I let go of complaining and started focusing on all the good in my life, and there is plenty.
Since then:
I hope you are now convinced that being grateful is very beneficial to us, and I will go on into a more complicated, sometimes more challenging gratitude practice, which is Radical Gratitude. It is my belief that we can almost always find a reason to be grateful, even when confronted with tragedies, unexpected disasters, or even ill health. And this holds true for challenging people in our lives as well. Here are two disclaimers:
PERSONAL EXAMPLES In the summer of 2018, Oregon (where I live) had many devastating wildfires. One of them was dangerously close to our home! We watched in horror and disbelief as it came closer and closer. It became obvious we would probably be evacuated. The smoke was black, firefighters, and National Guard were checking everyone’s IDs before letting them enter the street to our house. Neighbors and I got out of our cars to stop and watch it burning fields and trees so close to our homes. I tried to keep a positive attitude, but it got to be only ½ mile up a street from our home. Very very scary! I love where we live and the thought of losing our home was terrifying. On a Saturday afternoon, as I tried to take a nap to escape, our phones started ringing and texting that we were in Level 3, evacuation time. Get out now. We took our dogs and my cockatiels, computer, important papers, some clothes and left the rest. We were evacuated for six days and got to come home – all houses and neighbors were thankfully safe and sound. Here are my gratitude takeaways:
One more example which changed my life incredibly in so many ways was going through a divorce after 24 years. This was a very difficult decision, I wasn’t sure if it was the right one, and my ex-husband ended up deciding for us. I was very heart-broken. So heart-broken that I finally sought out the Center for Spiritual Living, in Santa Rosa, CA which many people in my life had gently suggested I might attend because they felt I would love it too. And I did!!!! From the moment I entered, I got tears in my eyes, seeing all the loving, warm people and as I listened to the talk, I realized even more that this would be my spiritual home the rest of my life, and it has been. I am eternally grateful for my divorce now. I took the spiritual classes voraciously; became a licensed practitioner, now serving in Oregon where I live. I am blessed to teach spiritual classes and workshops, and in 2019, I spoke at two Centers for Spiritual Living about the topics in this article. I eventually met my second husband who I have been with for almost 20 years and we are much more compatible. He asked me to move to Oregon and I did. And I am in love with the forest, rivers and beauty. None of this would have happened had I stayed in my first marriage. Very thankful! In each of these cases, some gratitude was easily available, but more came later. It may take time, even many years to find the gratitude, but looking for it helps your healing. I want to mention several well-known people and how they found radical gratitude in their lives. Each is very inspiring to me! Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist who ended up being put into concentration camps during the Holocaust, and amazingly, found a way to stay positive and ended up writing this book Man’s Search for Meaning which has sold 15 million copies and thus, impacted so many people’s lives. His premise is that we need to find meaning in life, and that will help carry us through even the hardest situations. He was a walking example. Here is a quote from his powerful book: “Everything can be taken…but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Will Pye who wrote the book Gratitude Prescription, Harnessing the Power of Thankfulness for Healing and Happiness was himself diagnosed with a brain tumor and through gratitude, healed himself completely. Here is a quote from his excellent book about radical gratitude: “In looking at our self and our life story through the lens of gratitude, we can come into contact with the beauty and heroism inherent in every human alive. Gratitude for self supports a compassion encompassing all of us.” There are other examples too, of physical healing, where the person ends up being grateful for the illness. Anita Moorjani, realized on a deep level that we are love, truly knowing this after a Near Death Experience, and could let go of her fear of cancer completely, and had a spontaneous remission. It is her calling to share her findings with others and her beautiful book Dying to Be Me has reached millions of people across the world. Helen Keller has always been one of my heroes. Even though she was deaf and blind at such a young age, she somehow always found reasons to express her gratitude. I share a very powerful quote from her: “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. I thank God for my handicaps. So much has been given me, I have no time to ponder over that which has been denied.” In conclusion, I truly believe that we can almost always find gratitude in even the most challenging situations. It may take time, so be patient. I feel that life is about how we respond to it, and we are always at choice, like Victor Frankl and Helen Keller so beautifully prove. I feel my own life examples also show this. Being radically grateful is not always easy but incredibly worthwhile. Our attitude truly affects our lives and living with gratitude is powerful beyond measure. I hope I have helped you be able to pick yourself up by your gratitude bootstraps when times are tough. * https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-gratitude Deborah Perdue, author of the beautiful Grace of Gratitude Journal and four other gratitude books, loves to share the powerful practice of gratitude. She teaches workshops and classes, and is an award-winning book designer. See her blogs at http://www.graceofgratitude.com/category/blog/ and listen to her talk on the same subject at http://www.graceofgratitude.com/events/. You can sign up for free daily Gratitude Reflection emails on the home page at http://www.graceofgratitude.com/
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Thanksgiving is drawing ever so close, and maybe it is time to re-evaluate our understanding of this celebration, which is held in such high regard by Americans and Canadians alike. At this time of the year, most of us focus on being thankful, which is great, but we sometimes forget about the weightier and more spiritual concept of gratitude. The two terms are used interchangeably, but they are centuries apart when it comes to implication.
So, what is the difference between gratitude and thankfulness? Thankfulness refers to expression while gratitude is a state of being When you sit at the dinner table across from friends and loved ones this thanksgiving, you will be glad that they found the time to be with you. You are thankful for their presence in your life and you are happy that everything has been well with them since the last celebration. However, gratitude goes way deeper than that. It is a state of being, where you feel a sense of appreciation coming from deep within you. You are at peace with the world and you appreciate that state of affairs from deep within. The feeling of calm these thoughts and emotions bring to mind is all fulfilling. Acts of thankfulness last a moment while gratitude is a way of life During thanksgiving, we get attuned to the presence of others in our lives. We express our fondness of friends and loved ones, and embrace their gestures of love and affection. The gestures we extend are a sign of thankful- ness. During this time, however, the way we feel and the things we show are a manifestation of our state of mind. Gratefulness is essentially a way of life, and it entails staying aware of our place in universe. It requires us to stay alert of the role of others in our lives, staying connected to what everyone around us does to keep us happy. This is different from the fleeting nature of the act of saying a mere ‘thank you’. Through thankfulness, we get to make a sense of our lives and learn to credit our loved ones with the appreciation they deserve. Thankfulness is a social norm applicable in general situations while gratitude is the special manifestation of spirituality, love and affection It is easy to go out to the store and say something nice to an attendant or fellow shopper for one thing or an- other. This is a sign of thankfulness for something they have done for you. You are saying thank you to a stranger, but beyond that, there are no ties. Gratitude is the manifestation of love, devotion and commitment to- wards those who mean the world to you. It encompasses shared experiences, shared love and an understanding that the universe has conspired to keep us happy, and help us understand how connected we are to others. As we head into that special time in November, find a Gratitude Journal, and open your mind up to just how helpful this simple practice may be on the path toward embracing and better understanding the sheer spirituality in the concept of gratitude. Here is a surefire way to bring down your stress level.
Whenever I nosedive into feeling worried or harried or completely stressed out, I have a surefire method to counteract these undesirable feelings. It works every time! It can be hard to start – I might tell myself I don’t have enough time, or it won’t work, but those are just feeble excuses. When I actually sit down to begin, this practice I’m about to share always helps my mood improve and become more positive. Scientific studies 1 have proven, without a doubt, that if we start focusing on what is right, what feels good to us, what there is to be grateful for, we can and will shift into more happiness, peace, joy and even better health! I know it sounds almost too good to be true, but it has worked for me over and over again, and in this article, I will share some of my own Top Ten list. And I invite you to try it too. I call this tool My Grand List of Gratitude. Start a huge list of everything and everyone you are grateful for. I find that I can never run out of things to add – this list can be endless, and even ongoing. 1. FAMILY. As I write my list, I usually start with being grateful for the love in my life and my family. Studies have proven that we humans inherently need love, connection with others, and community to flourish. Since this is true, I list all the people starting with my wonderful husband, the gift of my great adult stepchildren, darling grandkids, my beloved sisters, and my parents who are now deceased. Family is such a given in most people’s lives, and in my own, I am supremely grateful for the loved ones who are so close to me. I even give thanks for my first husband! Sure, we ended up divorcing, but because of that process, I met someone more compatible, and came out a stronger woman and more independent too. 2. FRIENDS. These are the chosen family in my life who I treasure so much. I am part of a spiritual community, and we all support and love each other. Very grateful! Other people to be thankful for could be business associates, your boss, or a best friend from childhood. 3. MY BODY. How it works atomically is a miracle! I am thankful for my strong, healthy body which sees, hears, touches, feels, and smells. Our bodies are such an intricate system, and I marvel at how well mine works. 4. NATURE. The list here can be literally infinite. I am a nature girl, and I give thanks for all parts of nature – the seasons bringing change like clockwork every few months; the beauty of rivers, trees, lakes, ocean. All the myriad of different animals. All the flowers that bloom, whether wildflowers or dahlias, sunflowers, irises, lilac, roses, wisteria or name your particular favorite! I know every person can find something in nature to feel grateful for, whether you live in the city (maybe a beautiful nearby park, or your own container garden), or the desert or plains. Everyone gets to see sunsets and dawns, cumulus or storm clouds, the night skies. All of nature is such a gift to all of us. 5. PETS. In my list, I must include my furry friends; a border collie, hound dog, and two cockatiels, but your list may include cats or horses or tropical fish. I am so grateful for our pets’ unconditional love, how they are always in the now, and for how joyful they naturally are. 6. WORK LIFE. I happen to be a freelance book designer, and I so enjoy the variety of books and authors I work for, as well as the freedom it affords me. You may be working for a corporation or a small business. Friends from work could be on your list, so could the perks of benefits and holidays you receive; and if you’re really lucky, you love your meaningful work and can be grateful for that. 7. TALENTS. I truly believe every single person is creative in their own way. So list what you are gifted with as a person. In my case, I am grateful for the art I enjoy doing – pastels and photography, and my writing skills. But it could be your affinity for numbers, your way with people, serving others, or whatever it might be for you. 8. INNATE QUALITIES. I am grateful for my determination, my caring heart, my sensitivity, my intuition, my natural optimism, my sharp mind, and the way I do my best at everything I endeavor. I know each person has their own unique and special list. 9. MODERN DAY LIFE. We can be thankful for electricity, stoves, refrigerators, cell phones and the internet. The internet in particular has helped the whole world be connected in seconds. Facts can be revealed in seconds. Quite amazing. 10. PAST FAILURES. Yes, this is a valuable area of our lives to be grateful for. I have found that all mistakes I’ve made have brought me to where I am today. Things that I have been disappointed about, or failed at, made me stronger and I have used these lessons to be a better person. Your list can be one word for each thing you are grateful for, a sentence or even a paragraph about each thing. The next time you feel down in the dumps, give making a Grand List of Gratitude a try. I absolutely promise you will get yourself out of the doldrums. And I honestly believe with all my heart we can never run out of things to be grateful for. Life is SO abundant, and the possibilities for our list literally endless. Start by making a list of 5 things, 10 things, 25 things, try 100! You’ll probably find it hard to stop. And I know you’ll be automatically happier and more peaceful.
Deborah Perdue is the author of five books on gratitude including a beautifully illustrated Grace of Gratitude Journal and Daily Gratitude Reflections, 365 Guides to Great-Full Living. Sharing the power of gratitude is her passion and calling! She teaches workshops, classes and facilitates retreats. Ms. Perdue is a licensed practitioner for the Center for Spiritual Living. She lives in a dome home in the forest in Grants Pass, Oregon with her husband, and menagerie. This article was also posted on Forbes.com July 31st which I am so grateful for: www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2019/07/31/how-to-increase-your-gratitude-while-reducing-your-stress/#a071b056626b Last November 2016, I was at the office of my holistic primary care nurse practitioner, Kathleen J., when she started the appointment by asking me how I feel. I answered, “Great!” and I truly felt that way. She frowned then, and had to let me know that according to the blood tests she had me take, I had Diabetes 2. I asked her if she was sure it wasn’t pre-diabetes as my sister had been diagnosed with that. She said no, the levels were much higher. I went into shock and dismay! She proceeded to tell me that Diabetes 2 IS reversible. And told me I must start exercising regularly, suggesting walking daily since I do enjoy walking. She also gave me a stringent dietary plan, with no fruit, no grains and mostly vegetables and protein. After losing about 30 pounds (and keeping it off) in the previous three years, I knew how to eat in a low-carbohydrate way, and had been eating in that way, basically, before she talked to me. But this was even stricter.
She also prescribed some herbal supplements that might help, and told me about cinnamon and other spices that have a good effect on diabetics. She prescribed a glucose meter, and told me to check every morning to see what readings I got, and to record them and bring them with me during my next visit. She further explained how the pancreas stops working as well with diabetes and doesn’t assimilate sugars as it should. I walked away feeling VERY depressed! However, I have great determination and I knew I would do everything in my power to reverse the situation. When I got home, my husband said he wasn’t surprised, as being overweight is a big factor in diabetes. I found I felt shame and embarrassment about it, and even though I’m usually very forthright and can be confessional, I refrained from telling anyone else for several weeks. In the end, talking to others did help me. Nobody I told was judgmental, and all were understanding and supportive, and shared diabetes 2 stories if they had them. To my surprise, one thing that I discovered is that several women who were extremely overweight had absolutely no signs of diabetes! During the first 4 months, I went to various healers, after reading about diabetes and holistic cures. I saw an acupuncturist, a sound healer, and also went to a couple of alternative healers who do light and energy work. In my study on the subject, I discovered that stress can really play into this malady. Aha! I tend to worry too much, and we made a big move in 2016 that was stressful – selling two houses and buying one, and releasing all kinds of stuff, because we downsized. The new place is sublime, but the journey here was fraught with many details and decisions that kept me up at night worrying. I followed the diet as well as I could, with a smidgen of cheating but overall, stuck to it. I started walking every day, or almost every day for 30 minutes. The walks turned out to be a big blessing. I felt immediately grateful for that. My dogs were grateful, too! Previously, I spent time looking out the window at the beautiful forest we live in, and didn’t explore it. Now I could discover new areas and paths, and enjoy the beauty firsthand instead of gazing upon it. I took the herbs religiously. I pricked my finger every morning, and sometimes the reading would be higher than other mornings. I would get anxious when it was higher, and wrack my brain about what I ate to cause a spike. Four months later, it was time for more blood tests, I took them and went back to the nurse practitioner. The results were better and I was encouraged. I could do this! She told me I could take the glucose tests a few times per week, rather than daily. Then, I got a bit more lax in following the diet. I would actually eat carbs one day, not test my blood sugar, and then take it the next day when I had eaten better, thinking I was cheating the system but overall, tests for several months couldn’t lie. The next time I went back, the diabetes’ levels were higher again. I told Kathleen I had been eating just as well when upon reflection after the appointment, I became more honest with myself and realized I had been “cheating.” I felt weary of all my efforts to control diabetes, and I told her this was the best I could do. So we agreed that I would try Metformin, a common prescription pill for those with Diabetes 2. She told me it had a digestive side effect for some people. After taking it, I would check my glucose levels and there wasn’t much difference. That was disheartening. Then I got the side effect to the extreme! I spoke to Kathleen, and she told me to go off it immediately. When I asked if there was another pill I could take, she said the next remedies are injections, rather than pills. I did NOT want that. In my meditation time, I listened to my inner guidance, and vowed to start listening to my body better. I received the message that I should stop taking glucose readings since it upset me when numbers were high; that I should eat more fruit from time to time since I love it so much. I was also told that I COULD do this by myself, and it was my opportunity to rid myself of this diagnosis in a natural way. I felt empowered again! After that, I continued eating in a low-carb way, but enjoyed grains, beans and fruit more regularly. I do love sweets, so would treat myself to dark chocolate and other low-sugar desserts sometimes. I ate less meat and more soy. I kept up with my joyful walks. I added another herbal supplement after talking to a girlfriend who also has Diabetes 2, and confirming the additional supplement with Kathleen’s OK. A healer I know suggested a concoction of ginger, lemon, cinnamon, and turmeric with warm water to drink each day. She suggested fasting, and after reading about it, I was convinced it would be helpful to bring blood sugar readings down. I often fast from dinner to lunch using the drink mentioned above in the meantime. Another friend told me about the benefits of CBD oil, for better sleep, less worrying and also to bring glucose levels down. I asked Kathleen about it, and she said although there aren’t enough scientific studies to prove its health claims, she was open to me trying that, as well, so I did. In November 2017, I had more blood tests. I was feeling if my own remedies hadn’t worked, that I would go ahead and try injections. I was very tired of having this disease, and felt afraid the more I heard about how diabetes led to heart problems, strokes, and even cancer. Yikes. It really seemed crazy when I told others my plan for self-healing, and admitted that I hadn’t taken the glucose tests in all that time, but I also trusted my gut instincts. Again, Kathleen asked me how I was feeling when I came in. I cautiously said “great” and proceeded to tell her how I didn’t get so tired in the mid-afternoon like I used to, and how I have a lot of energy and am sleeping better. She smiled, and let me know I was out of diabetic range!!!!!!! I was thrilled! She congratulated on my own self-care to achieve this goal. It feels like a dream come true. It IS a dream come true. I am someone who has authored books on gratitude, and so I want to share with you how I could be grateful for a Diabetes 2 diagnosis. It has definitely changed my life for the better! As mentioned, I appreciate the pristine beauty around me as I take my nature walks, and they also calm my spirits if I’m having a hard work day. I am eating in a way that feels good and right to me, that I can easily sustain. I am 63, and I am sure I have extended my life, and since I’ve always wanted to live to be over 90, healthy both emotionally and physically, that feels wonderful and much more achievable again. I am a spiritual person, and I’m positive that my daily meditation and affirmative prayer time have helped. I am also filled with gratitude because I have learned how to be less distressed by examining worry (which never helps), and other fears I have, and letting some of it go. I am thankful that I can share my process and the good news with others, so that it may help and inspire someone who is feeling depressed about the same health condition, or another one. Most importantly, it has added to my self-love. I appreciate my efforts and celebrate the grand result. Thank you, Life! Deborah Perdue is the author of several books on Gratitude, www.graceofgratitude.com. She teaches workshops, classes and facilitates retreats. It is her passion to help others transform their lives, as she has transformed her own through her spiritual path, and the power of being grateful! Deborah lives in Grants Pass, OR in the forest with her husband and menagerie.  Oh Great Spirit, thank you for the many blessings in my life.
Thank you for my friends and family, And the wonderful animals that have become part of the clan. Thank you for the work you grace me with. Thank you for the beautiful surroundings of nature I experience each day. Thank you for the lights in my world, lifting me up, motivating me, inspiring me to be more. I ask that you bless us all. Shower us with an abundance of your blessings. Protect and heal us physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Bless us with hearts that are filled with hope, faith, joy, compassion, kindness, and gratitude. And spirits of generosity. Minds that are filled with creative ideas and positive thoughts. Bless us with job security, new jobs, opportunities for promotion, and a steady flow of work and income. Bless us with financial prosperity and independence. Good friends, And a loving partner in a healthy, mutually satisfying, life-long relationship. Give us all that we need, For the highest and greatest good, And we will accept your many blessings With gratitude and love. Amen ____________________ Deborah Perdue, RScP Author of “Grace of Gratitude Journals” and “Grace of Gratitude Reflections” and “Path of Gratitude Coloring Book” all of these and much more at www.graceofgratitude.com 541 862-7021  Daily Gratitude Week of July 24
7-24 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”– Marianne Williamson (also attributed to Nelson Mandela) Some of my life I didn’t feel powerful, instead I felt powerless and dependent upon outside forces. Later I shrank from my own power, and was timid and played small. Today I am grateful to own and feel the power of my being! There is nothing I can’t accomplish with determination, creativity and courage. I know I am powerful beyond measure, with the help of my higher power, and I am so thankful this is so. 7-25 “As the Sun shines upon my heart, so may my heart shine upon others!”– The Upanishads Let me remember that a shining, bright, loving heart is precious. Let me take a break from the hustle and bustle and shine my love light on as many as I can, starting with my family who I sometimes take for granted, and extending out to all I meet each day. I am incredibly grateful to have such a loving, tender heart and I choose to share it! 7-26 “We have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but today is overflowing with potential.”– Allan Lokos I am so grateful to be able to stay in the present moment — it’s not always easy, but so comforting and soothing when I do, rather than planning or plotting the future, which in reality, we cannot change anyway. Ram Dass really had something when he coined the sixties’ term “Be Here Now” which is practically a cliche but so darn wise. I seize the moment, rich with a multitude of possibilities, and open to the zest of life! 7-27 As long as the candle burns, there is time to make repairs. – Rabbi Salanter Life offers endless possibilities and among those, there is the opportunity to do things differently. When I make a mistake or err, I can always make amends to myself or someone else. Life is a cornucopia of second chances and choices. I am grateful for growing wiser as I age, and so grateful that my candle keeps on burning! 7-28 “How many times have I died only to be born again out of the ashes of my unbelief? How many times has my precious God loved me through the tempests of my own doubt, fear and feelings of unworthiness?” – Rev. Karen S. Wylie I am so grateful for all the resurrections of my life! With each fall from grace and subsequent ascension, I truly grow stronger. All I have to do is listen to the still, small voice within that assures me that I am worthy beyond measure and if it doesn’t matter in the Big Picture, there is no need to worry! I am thankful for divine wisdom, and the remembrance of who I truly am when my mind niggles and falters. Photography by Deborah Perdue ______________________ Deborah Perdue, RScP Author of “Grace of Gratitude Journals” and “Grace of Gratitude Reflections” and “Path of Gratitude Coloring Book” all of these and much more at www.graceofgratitude.com 541 862-7021  I recently received an email from someone saying she’s finding it difficult to live in gratitude in a challenging world. She’s stressed out and depressed by the news and the state of our country, and she wanted to know how I’m able to switch gears from being exposed to all the bad news and then going back to my place of gratitude.
I am not a news junkie and my advice to those who are is to either find a way to shut it down through meditation or a walk outside as soon as you get your daily dose of news before it impacts you, or if you find it difficult to do that, to stop making news part of your regular routine. You are the co-creator of your world. If you focus on the negatives, then you’ll pull in negatives. If you’re stressed out and worried, how effective can you be in living a life of gratitude? It’s not that I’m not interested in what’s going on, but I can be a hand-wringer and knowing this, I can only take on my world – my little circle of people I encounter in work, community and family. I’m in a very happy place most of the time, and when I falter, I’m much better about recognizing it and making a correction to stay the course on the path of gratitude. If I were to read the news each day, it would put me in a bad place. I pray for the world each day. I pray for our country. I pray for Mother Nature. I am committed to spreading the word about gratitude, teaching people to connect with their Angels and Spirit Guides, and teaching other spiritual courses. I’m devoted to putting light into the world. I believe if enough of us live our lives in this way it will change the world for the good. I pay no attention to the news, most of which is not trustworthy anyway, because it prevents me from doing the work I was meant to do. I’m sharing my thoughts about this in my blog for those who may have the same struggle. ______________________ Deborah Perdue, RScP Author of “Grace of Gratitude Journals” and “Grace of Gratitude Reflections” and “Path of Gratitude Coloring Book” all of these and much more at www.graceofgratitude.com 541 862-7021  Until recent years I was a people-pleaser. It was important for me to be liked by others, and if their acceptance meant my having to jump through hoops, well that was what I was willing to do. As I came to love myself more and more, I stopped this destructive habit in my personal life, but still found it painful to have difficult conversations in professional relationships. I just found it very hard to accept that I wasn’t pleasing everyone I was trying do a good job for. The more displeased they were, the harder I tried. I see a correlation between this dynamic and that of a child trying to win the love, acceptance, and affection of a parent. It was only recently that I realized when it comes to loving myself enough to be my own advocate, it has to cross over into all areas of my life.
I feel so blessed, because when I struggle with something, God doesn’t say, ‘Forget it, you’ll never learn this lesson!’ Instead, I am tested again and again until I’ve mastered it. Now I know some would think a loving God would spare us the pain, but I believe we are here to grow and learn. This life is school, and death is our graduation. And God is good to allow me to take the same test over and over until I don’t even consider it a test anymore. I had a chance to be retested recently when a client was unhappy with each attempt of mine to create something wonderful for her. I tried and tried and became frustrated by continued rejection, and then I came to a point where I realized this partnership just might not be a good fit for us. That happens, and it’s perfectly fine, so why was I personalizing it? As soon as I found this way to detach, I calmly explained I would not continue on with the project, she would only have to pay me for the work I had done so far, and I wished her well in finding the right person to bring her vision to life. I was surprised, and happy, when she told me I was the one she wanted to work with. So of course, at that point I felt I had to set some parameters for continuing on, which I did, and she accepted. It felt liberating to find a way to nicely say, “Enough” to someone. I learned two important things. I realized that part of the reason situations like this made me so upset was because I was upset with myself – frustrated at not being skillful in handling things like this, with my inability to do so leading to my being upset with ME! The second thing I learned was that it’s really just a matter of finding the right words to say and the right way to say it, so I’m advocating for myself in an unemotional and fair manner, leaving the other person’s dignity intact. And this was easy once I asked myself how I would want to be told. Thank God we never stop growing and learning. As I’ve stated and written many times, I am a work in progress. Neither God, nor I, are finished with me yet! Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash ______________________Deborah Perdue, RScP Author of “Grace of Gratitude Journals” and “Grace of Gratitude Reflections” and “Path of Gratitude Coloring Book” all of these and much more at www.graceofgratitude.com 541 862-7021  Here are this week’s offering of thoughts of thanksgiving, by Deborah Perdue, author of Daily Gratitude Reflections and Grace of Gratitude Journal.
To sign up to receive daily inspiring thoughts of gratitude in your email box, you can go to www.graceofgratitude.com home page and click to receive them. Enjoy! Get inspired! Email me at info@graceogratitude.com and let me know of any you particularly like, or send your own in. I would love to hear from you. July 3 I am so grateful for FREEDOM -- not only the freedoms we do enjoy in the U.S. but the freedoms that are ours inherently as spiritual beings having a human experience. The ultimate freedom we have is freedom of choice which is why no psychic can truly predict the future. We are free to choose in every moment of our lives and this is a God-given freedom that we sometimes squander or don’t accept choosing victimhood instead. But we are free! I am so thankful for my freedom to love, to be in joy, to feel inner peace no matter what is happening around me I am thankful for all the choices I get to make o create a sublime life. Happy Independence Day! July 4 Grateful to have taken the day off and hope you did, too! July 5 “Yet to love someone is an art. It does not come simply or cheaply but is a lifetime’s work.” – John O’Donahue I am grateful for my own loving, caring, nurturing, supportive nature. I have honed it through the years so that I am no longer co-dependent, yet I still watch over my loved ones, and it does take experience, patience and wisdom to love deeply. It is perhaps most difficult for me to love myself. On the surface I do, but sometimes feeling compassion for myself comes harder. I am thankful to have learned to love myself and others in a healthy way, in an unconditional way, in a giving no-strings-attached way. And I know loving and being open to be loved is our most important work, and stretches over lifetimes. July 6 “A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse.” – Mark Twain I am in gratitude for my tenacity. If things go awry, I keep on keeping on until I get a better outcome. So much to be said for not giving up! Truly thankful for the determination and persistence I show, time and time again. And I enjoy that quality in others, as well. July 7 “All is Infinite Being and all is eternally becoming.” – Ernest Holmes To really understand that everywhere, everything, and everyone is part of the All-in-All is so amazing and so comforting. We, as little specks in the infinitely expanding universe are not alone, we are not separate, we are intricately linked by our very being. We belong. I am so grateful to feel the truth of what I am saying deep within me, without doubt. ______________________ Deborah Perdue, RScP Author of “Grace of Gratitude Journals” and “Grace of Gratitude Reflections” and “Path of Gratitude Coloring Book” all of these and much more at www.graceofgratitude.com 541 862-7021 |
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